It’s The Thought That Counts

Pink hearts, flowers, and fuzzy trinkets aside, I would like to clear up the misconception that Valentine’s Day is a girl holiday.  Although it may be true that we all enjoy a nice meal and a thoughtful gift, it’s the ‘thoughtful’ part that’s going unfulfilled, and females are facing the tougher end of it.  

Valentine’s Day has long been touted as a “Hallmark Holiday,” devoid of any true meaning.  But just because a couple chooses to celebrate a meaningless occasion doesn’t mean their gestures have to be empty as well.  Commercialization has made it easier and easier for couples to buy prepackaged tokens of love, from candy and flowers clichés to cards with beautiful words written by strangers. 

Take, for example, a guy in a last-minute panic for a Valentine’s gift need only to head for the nearest Wal-Mart (conveniently open 24 hours for even the latest of the last-minute panickers).  Without leaving the front aisle, he can pick up any of the classic Valentine’s Day staples:  a card, some candy, maybe a stuffed animal and flowers if he’s feeling particularly sentimental.  Then, he can go right for the ten items or less checkout, and voila.  Valentine’s Day shopping in less than five minutes.  He won’t win any points for creativity, but at least he’s got this pesky holiday out of the way. 

Girls don’t have it quite so easy.  With the exception of candy, a girl cannot give a man any of the above-mentioned items without looking like she’s completely given up.  Women must plan ahead. They have to be original, innovative, and consider a man’s personality and leisure activities. 

Unfortunately, if all your boyfriend is interested in is Chuck Norris movies and seeing you naked, this can be a lot harder than it sounds.   Short of giving him a box set of Chuck DVD’s with nude footage of yourself edited in (which may actually be the best gift idea I’ve ever come up with), you’ll truly to have to dig deep for the perfect manly Valentine’s gift idea.  That, or revel in his conception of Valentine’s Day as a “girl’s day” and simply get him nothing. 

Despite the shopping difficulties that women face each February, it’s still the men doing all the complaining. This has gone so far that men have invented a holiday serving their own interests, one month and one day after Valentine’s.  However, this is not a fair equivalent for Valentine’s Day, because at least on Steak and a BJ day, guys know they’re getting something they like.

So if you’re still beating yourself up over not finding the perfect Valentine’s gift, take comfort in knowing that couples everywhere will be gritting their teeth in unison as he opens a year’s supply of heart-shaped car air fresheners and she opens yet another dancing hamster singing “Tainted Love”.  No one takes Valentine’s Day seriously, and it’s probably time to stop pretending we do.