Wait…Today is What??

Oh how I long for the simple days of elementary school puppy love.  Oh how nice and sweet were those days when all you had to do was send each person in your homeroom class a generic, insincere, little square of paper with an unbelievably lame play-on-words phrase about love and sign their name on the back?  Oh how long o Lord? 

Take me back to the days of yesteryear.  Take me away from the stress and vexation of finding your girlfriends underwear size, finding her ring size, finding what kind of diamond she fancies, finding her favorite flower or finding out whether she likes marble white chocolate or chocolate covered strawberries or better yet cherries!  Aaaahhhhh!!!  Just breathe.  It is only one day.   

My “better half” seems to think that Valentines Days is actually more stressful on women than men.  That may be one of the most absurd statements that I have ever heard. 

What could be so stressful or so difficult about looking surprised and pretending to like whatever trinket or clump of colorful flowers that are put under your nose?  How difficult can it be to shave your legs, put on some eye shadow, slip into a sexy number and smile and nod at a romantic candlelight dinner?  That’s all you have to do. 

And hey, you might even get lucky and actually like what your significant other bought you.    This is your day, don’t get me wrong, but don’t make it too complicated.  We all know that this “holiday” is just a ploy by The Man to sucker men into buying crap for the ones they love that they really don’t need.  How about just doing something that your girlfriend will really enjoy?  Take her out to dinner, paint her toenails, watch Grey’s Anatomy with her, massage her shoulders or even just ask her how her day was and listen.  Doing something simplistic and thoughtful will get you much further than dropping a couple of c-notes on some shinny stones, depending on how shallow your significant other is. 

So don’t tell me how much V-day sucks for women, because it sucks tenfold for men.  Enjoy it, cherish it and make it last as long as you can.  Because tomorrow is February 15, and everybody knows what that means…it means it’s Thursday.