Commentary: College Graduation A Reality Check

When I was learning to drive, my mother always said, “watch out for the other drivers because they usually don’t know what they are doing.”

As I was sitting at a four-way intersection last week, a car with young passengers joined me at the intersection. I began to proceed down the road. Before I had time to gain momentum from a dead stop, the other car zoomed out in front of me. Due to my frustration, I yelled “YOU DAMNED COLLEGE KIDS!!!” After considering this statement, it finally hit me: I am about to graduate from Virginia Tech.

However, I haven’t graduated yet, so I can’t really use phrases like “you college kids” because I still fit into that category for at least a few more months.

That statement made me start to think about life after college. How will my life change once I am no longer in school? 

It seems to me that graduating is like the gateway to a comfortable adulthood. I will have a fabulous job in photojournalism (Roanoke Times, I’m looking at you). I am going to live in a two-story house with a huge back yard for my future kids to play in while I lounge on my Victorian porch like Scarlett O’Hara. I will also be riding around in a black BMW with power everything. Life after college is going to be sweet!

Yeah, right.

As far as my career is concerned, I am just now getting around to updating my resume. I have been rejected once for the photojournalist intern position with the Roanoke Times. That doesn’t stop me, though. I can be annoying and I am going to try again soon. If that fails, I can always tack on another year to my seven consecutive years at Advance Auto Parts. Either way, I will need a job to buy my two-story house.

And when I say two-story house, I mean apartment. Realistically, I won’t be living in a house until my sweetie puts a hunk of metal and rock on a certain finger, signifying a union.  Until then, I will be sharing a space with one of my girlfriends in an apartment or duplex. At least I will have my own room. That way, I can talk in my sleep as much as I want without my roommate telling me the next morning that I was giggling and saying things like “What a fun balloon ride that was” when I was asleep.

As for my Victorian porch, I will more than likely have to settle for a balcony. The closest thing I will have to Scarlett O’Hara is sitting in a plastic chair wearing an outdated, Pepto-pink prom dress I wore once in high school. If I walked around in that all day, I am pretty sure the neighbors will keep a mental facility on speed dial for that one-day-when-the-chick-with-the-dress-totally-loses-it.

Well, at least I still have my BMW to look forward to…right?

Actually, that probably isn’t going to happen either. I currently drive a silver 1994 Buick Regal GS (which stands for Granny Series). If you know anything about cars, you know that this one is the size of a whale. By looking at my car right now, someone might think I am senior citizen who loves the Dave Matthews Band and has a problem backing up the car. I will more than likely drive this car until I am 70. Maybe by then, I will actually be able to afford a BMW. If that happens, I am going to put FOXYGMA on the license plates.

I have dreams for my life after college, but it is going to take me a while to have it all. That doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy what I will have, which is a degree from a prestigious college, a fabulous roommate and a car that functions. Regardless of what happens, I think I am going to enjoy my transition from one of those damned college kids to one of those damned college educated adults.

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