Commentary: Feed the Pig

The rising cost of gasoline and food are nibbling more and more out of American wallets, but that bite isn’t nearly as big as the one being taken by institutions of higher education. The supposed vehicle to strengthening the economy, education, is nearing its business limits and the only ones who seem to notice are people not working in academe.

While the lending industry is begging for government write-offs of its poor choices, student loans are going through the roof. More than ever, it is commonplace to see young men and women going tens of thousands of dollars into debt just for their increasingly obsolete bachelors degrees. Why get a job and pay for school (at least part of it) when Sallie Mae will send a check? Never mind where the money is going to come from to pay back these student loans, just defer them.

With unemployment at all-time lows and other indicators looking quite positive, there is one bothersome outcropping that won’t seem to go away, credit overextension. People without the ability to pay their debt are being approved for loans they cannot afford and then when the collections man comes a knockin’, there is no money in the bank account. The most shameful part of this cycle is that colleges and universities (true-blue businesses) are committing the exact same fraud.

With bureaucracy nearly as thick as the federal government, Virginia Tech is on the march off the end of financial oblivion. The short-term answer is always to raise tuition and fees. The dirty little secret is that this cycle has a glass ceiling and Virginia Tech is about to break it.

Walk through a typical department at VT. First, there is a director. Below that director there are a few assistant directors and a level of associate directors. Then there are satellite positions such as coordinators. Below them are departmental and personal secretaries. Don’t forget the pool of graduate assistants that cost thousands of dollars a pop. On top of the personnel, each of these bureaucrats needs their own office, which will obviously need to be housed in its own special chasm within a building.

The President and his bunker staff are followed by 13 vice presidents that come with assistant and associate vice presidents with their own special offices, staff, and secretaries. These administrators make in excess of $100,000 annually for playing golf on Friday, attending committee meetings that accomplish next to nothing of substance, and eat up countless amounts of money in receptions, trips, and operating budgets. Look at their records for the proof.

On the academic side, who doesn’t want to teach? Work approximately eight months per year after breaks and vacation. Come to campus for about 20 hours per week between shamefully low amounts of teaching time and committee meetings, but get paid for 40 hours per week. With the rest of the time, let student loans and taxes pay for sitting at home and “researching.” Don’t forget the state health benefits and Kevlar vest of tenure, which make all of these benefits a fata compli. When not teaching gets tiring, let VT foot the bill for an all-expenses-paid “academic conference.”

Of course, the people of the community rely upon VT for the best paid wrench-turning and floor-mopping jobs in the commonwealth. Cutting the fat from a bloated bureaucratic pig would mean terminating a lot of honest and hard-working people from the payroll. Then again, when the pig goes belly-up, the impact on the economy is going to reach much further than maintenance men and housekeepers.

Covering up a budget shortfall is easy, raise revenue i.e. taxes and tuition. A strong leader would freeze all non-essential funding and start cutting administrative fat out of the budget as quickly as the pen will move. Virginia Tech’s president and Board of Visitors aren’t likely to oblige such a move; in fact, they will probably go on feeding the pig with tomorrow’s feed until the trough runs empty.

The two primary sources of income, tuition and taxes, have limits. Academe can either learn this lesson the easy way or the hard way, but this tax and tuition payer is not going to hold his breath. Add it to the pointless list of “I told you so.”

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