Commentary: I Am Here To Protest (enter issue here)!

Americans do not have enough to do in their spare time.  It has gotten to a point where Americans should protest about anything, anytime, anywhere, in every single method imaginable. It has gotten so bad, and so ridiculous; that I want to start protesting about people who are protesting. Though, I’m not sure how I’d go about doing it…

Case in point, on Easter Sunday in a church in Chicago, Illinois, a group of people came into the church protesting the Iraq War. Now instead of the cliché, traditional methods such as picketing outside the church, these “innovators” decided to run into the church, squirt fake blood on each other, and screamed in the middle of mass,” Even the Pope protests the war!”  It was a different method of protesting for sure. The Easter service crowd was shocked and outraged as these protesters screamed and ran around frantically.

Well, way to “stick it to the man” there, Henry Thoreau 

As innovative as this act of civil disobedience sounds, it probably wasn’t. You have to figure that the protesters were fumbling through their protesting picket signs (or flipbook) in their Volkswagen Mini Bus the night before. 

“Let’s see here, Iraq war…Iraq War… Pro-Choice, Free Tibet, Fight Wal-Mart. Ah! Here it is…Iraq War. Oh Jason, there are Cheeto fingerprints all over this sign!  This will never do.”

The thing that does not add up is the location where the people protested. Now, Chicago is a hard working blue collared town. However, Illinois is a blue state, they primarily vote democrat. OK, The topic of protest was relevant, sort of. The pope doesn’t like the Iraq War, so protesting in mass is pertinent. However, these protesters are preaching to the choir (no pun intended). The members in that church are more than likely going to vote for Clinton or Obama in the next election. Most people in Illinois are going to be against the war too. Whose mind are you trying to change? But wait, that’s not the best part…

The best part about this story is the fake blood used in church. At least the protestors recycled their resources. Straight off their PETA rally the day before, they must have had some leftover fake blood and used it for anti Iraq presentation. Good thing they squirted the blood on themselves and not the people who dressed up for mass. Now, even though no blood was spilled (again, no pun intended), the Easter Sunday crowd was outraged, called the police, and kicked them out of the church.

Afterwards, the protesters were sent to prison, but why? If they want to protest, let them protest! Though, let them have another performance, but in a red state, a conservative state. Instead of sending them to jail, send them to a mass in Texas. Or better yet, send them to a Southern Baptist church in Texas and see what happens. If they want to change people’s mind about the Iraq war, a red state is where to do it. Obama and Clinton will need some help to win in Texas, right? And afterwards…if there is an afterwards, these protesters might think twice about protesting in the middle of God’s time.
           
The moral of this story is, if you’re going to protest, make good use of what you protest about, and how you go about doing it. Don’t plan your protest the night before while your getting blazed, listening to your vinyl Phish record, and watching “Dazed and Confused” for the 57th time. If you are going to protest, make sure that you speak to an audience that can make a difference and wants to make a difference. People in an Easter service want to hear about the resurrection of Jesus, not about how there is war in the Middle East. We hear enough about that in the news every day, anyway.

 No pun intended.

Part of Planet Blacksburg’s mission is to get students published.  Some our content comes from guest writers and from articles written for class by non-member students.  The views expressed by these “Contributing Writers” are solely those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Planet Blacksburg as an organization.