Oh, Say Can You See… Kim Jong Gershwin?

The prestigious New York Philharmonic is playing the U.S. National Anthem, flanked on the performance hall stage by the American flag with concert goers standing in observance. But wait, what is that on the other side of the stage? The North Korean flag? Yes. Now in the notorious North Korean city of Pyongyang, one can watch the finest American musicians in the East Pyongyang Grand Theater. That is, of course, if the United States government gives you special permission to be there in the first place.

Even as the U.S. and U.N. squabble with Kim Jong-Il over “official” declarations of atomic program dismantlement, the North Korean people are enjoying Western musicians playing Western music with Western instruments. Perhaps playing “The Star-Spangled Banner” with the lyrics, “the bombs bursting in air” is not the best idea in a country that launched a long-range missile just two summers ago—it did fail within a minute so maybe they are not as big of a threat as we thought. Yeah, that’s it.

Maybe the best thing for North Korea to do is to hire a prestigious New York public relations firm. Right now, they are sending mixed messages to their many world audiences. On one hand, the United States is their mortal enemy, but on the other hand, their culture and music sure are entertaining. Their newest slogan should be, “We hate the United States but love Americans!” Perhaps their ticket in the global economy should be tourism—just imagine that brand new condominium time share in Pyongyang (ignore the manufacturing plant labeled with radiation hazard signs down the street).

Can you see the possibilities? After all, the “New World Symphony” and George Gershwin’s “An American in Paris” will unite two world powers who are mortal enemies. Perhaps what the U.N. needs to do is send over artists and fashion designers, and North Korea will magically shut down their nuclear capabilities and accept the West as their neighbor. We can all sit back and assume they are going to be the next Japan. Businesses (like Wal-Mart) can contract labor out to newly formed North Korean sweat shops (“always low prices, always”). The new reality television show to hit the air waves is “Project Pyongyang” where “survivors” win the money by hiding the most uranium from inspectors. Who knows, maybe they can even install Mac labs and marijuana vending machines.

The world is shrinking and even the countries with ticking time-bomb leaders with big red buttons are opening their borders for cultural experiences. The New York Philharmonic is the biggest thing to happen to world politics since Marx. With looming concern over the presence of the U.S. military in the world theater, maybe it is time to replace the Marines with “The Few. The Proud. The Pianists.”