Reflection: Blacksburg; One Year Later

While the rest of the world went about a usual Monday morning drinking coffee, reading the paper, heading to work… Blacksburg, Va., was frozen.

It was April 16, 2007.  I admittedly slept through my 9:30 class but was awakened by screaming sirens as dozens of ambulances sped past my residence hall.  In wonder, I drifted back to sleep not realizing the magnitude of what was happening outside the confines of my tiny room.

I officially woke up around 10 a.m.  My roommate’s boyfriend pounded violently on the door to my room.  I tiredly climbed down from my lofted bed and before any words were exchanged I found myself thrown over his shoulder as he ran through the quad en route to the car where my roommate was waiting.

On the way to his apartment complex, they told me what was happening.  I immediately went into shock.  The moments thereafter bled into one big blur.  All I see is a void, nothingness.  I do, however, remember watching the numbers climb steadily on the television.  Images flashed of our fellow classmates mangled and dying.  Locations on the screen were eerily recognizable.  It was surreal.

Although difficult to get a hold of anyone by phone, all of my close friends were soon accounted for.  With time I was able to reach my friends and family at home as well.

I am a lucky one. 

Like my own, Hokie families across the globe were frantically calling loved ones.  Too many of them never got to hear their loved one’s voice again, 32 too many.

I came to Virginia Tech expecting to gain a college experience like no other.  I expected burnt orange and Chicago maroon to paint over the colors of my life already lived.  I expected to worship the majestic Hokie Bird and contribute in “Inventing the Future” (VT’s slogan).  I expected to lose my voice at the football games and admire the Hokie stone, eat lobster in West End Market and meet thousands of new people.  I expected to learn here, grow here, be here.  I never, however, expected to mourn here. 

For the past year I’ve tried to think outwardly.  There are thousands grieving to a greater extent than those of us who weren’t intimately affected.  I’ve lit candles for them, said prayers for them, signed banners and cards for them… I’ve personally felt unworthy of the attention narrowed on our university. 

If anything, I can say that in an instant that sophomoric sense of security I once possessed had shattered completely.  I am still finding it difficult to feel completely safe in a town I once admired for its innocence. 

If more than one cell phone rings simultaneously in class I am alarmed.  Anytime I see a speeding ambulance or hear sirens I am discomforted.  The images and words derived from that day will linger in this community forever.  These are commonalities in which every affiliate of VT can identify.

It is evident that so many of us are worse off.  For them, we must be strong.  We must be sensitive and attendant to that which may haunt their days.  Some of us aren’t yet able to bury the prejudices or hate created from that day.  We must respect and accept this.  The only thing to do now is shower those still drowning in grief with hope for a prosperous future. 

In an attempt to transfer all the outside support to those whom I felt deserved it, I couldn’t help but intake such outstanding offerings of love.  I’ve been exposed to some of the most beautiful acts ever committed.  People traveling days to be with us in our time of need, mountains of poems, letters and various forms of condolences flooded our campus.
Tech’s student center was magnificently clogged with colorful posters and banners sent from schools all over.  Millions of small messages lined every inch of every wall in the building.  Every item sent beamed with rays of support.  The love and goodwill of the world presented itself tangibly before the very eyes of those lucky enough to see. 

Virginia Tech unified as a result of this tragedy.  We have come together in love and hope for the prosperity of this university.  Our strength has prevailed through each step sodden with tears. 

That which I have gained from this tragedy has significantly changed everything I once was.  Instead of dreading waking up early for class, I am now grateful for the opportunity to learn here.  Each day is a chance to grow.  I enrich my life in memory of those who were robbed of these chances. 

The Hokies have proven to the world that although we have been touched, we will never be tainted.  We were here when the evils of one changed the lives of many.  But we stayed here.  And we mourned here. And we are still here.