Do You Have A Secret?

By Maddie Abram
November 20, 2008

Secrets are things that you keep hidden or concealed. They can be good or bad, but they are yours no matter what. Lisa Highfield came and spoke to an enthusiastic group of Virginia Tech students Tuesday night and explained the effects of secrets.

"Behind every face there is a story," Highfield said. "What secrets are hidden? You could have an eating disorder, you could be cheating on your boyfriend, you could be a cutter, or you may be hiding the fact that you need alcohol."

Highfield shared her secrets to the audience, a group of complete strangers, to put the point across that in telling the truth you can make the changes needed to live a happier life.

Sigma Kappa and Alpha Phi hosted the event that took place in Squires Commonwealth Ballroom at Virginia Tech this week. The groups wanted to get the message through that gossip isn't pretty and it is necessary to take a stand against it.

Lisa Highfield started by telling the audience her secrets. One of those secrets was that even though she is happily married she still finds other men attractive. Highfield decided to share this secret because she has seen the emotions that come in hiding a secret like this and the troubles this has caused her friends. Highfield wants people to be aware of the wonderful feeling that comes with sharing secrets.

Highfield offered five reasons people keep secrets. You're a victim, the secrets brings you shame, and they hold power. People find comfort in secrets and sharing them can cause you to be fearful of the outcome.

Highfield said there is a cycle in keeping secrets. She used cutting as an example. The first stage is that you are hurt, so you cut yourself. This leads you into guilt because you feel remorse for what you did, so shame follows. This causes you to isolate yourself from others, and you don't tell. Keeping the cutting quiet brings you to the next stage of temptation, where you do the act again. This brings you back to the beginning where you are hurt all over again.

Highfield's answer is community. She said that if you have a community you don't fall as quickly as you would if you are alone. Highfield said victory comes with love from others. Community and sisterhood brings that victory.

"Deep down we all want to share our secrets," Highfield said.

If you don't have secrets be a safe person for others, she said. Be the person who anyone can come to and share their secret. Highfield told her husband her secret, and it made her feel much better about it.

Stephanie Paradiso, a Sigma Kappa sister, said, "Lisa Highfield was a great speaker and very humorous. Her decision to talk about her life was a great addition."

Lisa Highfield has worked for Campus Crusade for Christ for the past 10 years with her husband. They are currently the directors for it here at Virginia Tech. Together they have three children.

"She has given her heart to Virginia Tech everyday for the past two and a half years," said Annie Kizer, a Sigma Kappa sister. "She has donated herself to serving students in and around the East Coast for the past 10 years."