Opinion: A Single Idea

By Jenna Nichols
January 13, 2009

It all starts in kindergarten. On the first day everyone picks a best friend. If you are lucky, you will stay friends until middle school. As the years go by, two friends turn to three and then four. Significant others come and go but you always have the stable group of individuals around you.

College, however, is when things begin to change. At first, friends go through the same meaningless relationships and end up right back on your couch. But when you reach those senior level classes, go to order the graduation announcements and begin to think of careers instead of kegs, everyone wants to "settle down." The relationships that formed and ended over the coarse of late-night parties become deep conversations and rings on fingers.

But does everyone really reach this point? There are some who still sit on the couch alone, eat television dinners every night and are not afraid to say the phrase "table for one."

What happens when everyone around you is coupled and you are left being the third, or even fifth, wheel? Is it okay to be a single in a world of doubles?

The idea of "coupling" is instilled in us as children. A beautiful princess never exists without a dashing prince. Barbie shares her convertible with Ken. And even the Power Rangers get in on the action. When the original apple of the green ranger's eye left the show when we were kids, another pink ranger was swiftly inserted.

This idea essentially evolves into a house with a white picket fence, big green yard and 2.5 children. What follows is the creation of the young adult American dream.

While this seems to be the goal of many young adults, it is more of an illusion. According to recent Census data, more adults in their 20s report themselves as never being married.

True, some of the decline is because of more couples living together rather than marrying, but most young adults are waiting to get their individual lives together before taking a walk down the aisle.

So, contrary to the popular illusion, there are more singles than doubles.

Now to tell you some things most people cannot even form the words to say: it is okay to be alone. You can take care of yourself and just because you do not find the perfect mate by age 25 does not mean you are destined to end up in an old house with 40 cats and yelling at the imaginary child in the corner.

You are not the only one.  Though friends around you maybe coupled, there are others out there. A USA Today analysis of Census figures shows the fall in percentages of couples among young adults is increasingly consistent. Odds are you are not going to be alone for long.

It is okay not to be in a relationship. Dinner for one is not pathetic and a desire to get your life together all on your own is not selfish. You can be single and still be happy.