Commentary

Manners…please
by Betsy Dail
October 5, 2006

President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.” If only more people took his words to heart. True “gentlemen,” the tuxedo-wearing, clean-shaven, well-spoken type, are a rare species nowadays. And courtesy? It’s more a myth than reality as proper manners have generally disappeared.

The decline in social etiquette could be because of the change from old-world romanticism to modern-day materialism. But perhaps manners have vanished because people have become more selfish. Concern for oneself has exceeded concern for one’s peer. Allow an old woman to take your seat? That’s absurd! You sat down first. Hold the door for the next person? Yeah right, you don’t have time to stand at the door for two extra seconds. Society’s motto has sadly become, “It’s all about me.”

Selfishness has led to disregard for considerateness. Somewhere along the way people have forgotten that their actions affect those around them. If you want to talk loudly on your phone in the study-lounge, go ahead. Never mind the student already sitting there studying. Your conversation about hair-dye is more important than that student’s biochemistry grade. Being considerate just isn’t an instinctive thought anymore.

It’s as if society has adopted the following set of guidelines:

• If you’re in a confined but heavily trafficked area (like a bus or elevator), talk as loudly as possible on your cell phone so as to distract from the concentration and general peace of those around you. Remember, everyone wants to know your business.
• Don’t hold the door open for someone following you. Allow the door to slam in his or her face, especially if it’s a “her.”
• When the need arises, or even when it doesn’t, belch loudly so that others can hear, and smell, the excesses of your bodily functions.
• Do not, under any circumstances, remove your hat while eating at a table. The hair’s unkempt-ness must be disguised.
• When there is someone behind you, always walk slowly and take up as much space as possible to prevent the person from passing.
• Shovel food into your mouth while gripping the fork firmly with all five fingers.
• Never say “please” and “thank you.” Instead, demand whatever you want, or better yet, just take it.

Rules like these have become today’s definition of manners. As a result, society appears less refined. And just as with everything else…nobody really seems to care.